Feelings.

I've been pretty down lately. It sucks. I know that I have a great life and there are tons of great people in it, but I also know that I get screwed over a lot and get treated as so much less than I am.
I begin to think that I have something only to realize that the situation has the same fate as the last one, to be shot down. I don't think that makes sense, but it does to me.
I miss being with someone and having them as mine. I really miss being close to someone the most. Because when I lost my significant other, I lost my best friend too. I know that I can't be best friends with that person ever again though, because it's just too hard to be friends and nothing else.
I am supposed to be doing homework right now but I could care less because I am a freaking emotional wreck. Oh, and if you ask me about any of this, I will tell you it's none of your business and that I'm fine. But I'm far from fine, and if you want to know remotely what's wrong with me then you should probably read this blog.

I have nothing to rely on. I have my mom and that is about it, she's about to be gone and I'm going to miss her more than anything in the world. I may not talk to her about everything, but knowing she will always ask me over and over what is wrong is what makes me feel like someone cares. My mom has always been there for me, from day one. I am so afraid of losing the relationship that we have with each other. My mother is my best friend and I count on her for anything. I know I'm rambling about how amazing my mom is, but it's true.

I just miss everything. I miss the fulfillment. Not the people.