Songs narrating my life. #1

Love The Way You Lie. Part 2. -Rihanna 


On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie

[Rihanna's Part 2]
Now there's gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
And this tug of war, you'll always win
Even when I'm right
'Cause you feed me fables from your head
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie

[Rihanna's Part 3]
So maybe I'm a masochist
I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave
Til the walls are goin' up
In smoke with all our memories
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/rihanna/love_the_way_you_lie_part_2.html ]
[Eminem's Part]
It's morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
Hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry 
That you pushed me into the coffee table last night
So I can push you off me
Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we
Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs
That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky
Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills, 
You hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'?
I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count
But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain
Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refused counsellin'
This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand
Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it
With you I'm in my f-ckin' mind, without you, I'm out it

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Feelings.

I've been pretty down lately. It sucks. I know that I have a great life and there are tons of great people in it, but I also know that I get screwed over a lot and get treated as so much less than I am.
I begin to think that I have something only to realize that the situation has the same fate as the last one, to be shot down. I don't think that makes sense, but it does to me.
I miss being with someone and having them as mine. I really miss being close to someone the most. Because when I lost my significant other, I lost my best friend too. I know that I can't be best friends with that person ever again though, because it's just too hard to be friends and nothing else.
I am supposed to be doing homework right now but I could care less because I am a freaking emotional wreck. Oh, and if you ask me about any of this, I will tell you it's none of your business and that I'm fine. But I'm far from fine, and if you want to know remotely what's wrong with me then you should probably read this blog.

I have nothing to rely on. I have my mom and that is about it, she's about to be gone and I'm going to miss her more than anything in the world. I may not talk to her about everything, but knowing she will always ask me over and over what is wrong is what makes me feel like someone cares. My mom has always been there for me, from day one. I am so afraid of losing the relationship that we have with each other. My mother is my best friend and I count on her for anything. I know I'm rambling about how amazing my mom is, but it's true.

I just miss everything. I miss the fulfillment. Not the people.

Your words.

"Sticks and stones." To be honest, I'd take that any day over what has been said recently.

You can say you're joking or that it's just your opinion all you want.

Your words are piercing, and they penetrate the self-confidence of those who you attack.

They act tough on the outside so they seem strong-minded.

You're slowly deteriorating them on the inside, and eventually it will reach a point in which you are going to regret ever saying anything to them besides how great they are.

Cabot, Arkansas.

I have grown up in this town since I was little. I love this place, because it's the only thing I ever have known. The people here are so corrupted. Everywhere I turn there is corruption. There is cruelty in every word spoken in this forsaken town. I honestly don't trust anyone here except for a few people. Those amazing people know who they are. I'm embarrassed to be an active part of this town. Deception is not even frowned upon here. If you can successful juggle 9,023 personalities with 9,023 different people, then people look at you as some sort of idol.

I never wanted to grow up or graduate until my senior year. Thank you, Cabot, for corrupting me. I am leaving Cabot, and leaving Arkansas for that matter. I want to go somewhere that I don't know a single person. I can start new and be myself, and knowing what I know now, I'll be the most socially ready freshman. I honestly don't care about how much it's going to cost. I'll take out as many student loans as I have to. Getting away from these foolish bigots is my biggest goal in life.

I like to think.

I make huge mistakes sometimes. One of my latest is not hanging out with enough people and sitting at home alone thinking all of the time.
When I do this I tend to be nostalgic and miss the people from my past.
I also tend to get angry because of the things from my past. I really am ready for the day that I can just get over everything and move on.
I know what it's going to take, but I don't think that will be available for a long time. Oh well, I can live with it. I know what's best for me and I know that I'm not going to put myself in the situations that I used to.
Life sucks sometimes, but I should be happy I'm alive.

Goodbye old, hello new.

I hope everything that has happened is for the best. I know that my life is better off without certain people. I can't help but think about you every day, and know that someone else has you to call theirs. However, I really do hope that you treat him with the respect and love I always wanted, because I never got the boy that I asked for. You cheated on me, you lied to me, you hurt me, and most of all... You took me for granted. I knew someday you might be gone, and I knew what I had. 

I realize now that everyone already knew you before I did, so when they were approaching me and telling me that you were only going to hurt me, I should have listened. I didn't listen to the words of truth. Even those who I would not speak of today, told me things that were true. I hope that you found love in this new person that you acquired. You will never have my love in your life again, and I don't want your tainted love in mine either. You created a monster inside of me, and I've done so much to keep it in. 

I am an extremely jealous person because of you, and I do not have trust in ANYONE. This is not to hurt anyone, but I want to let everyone know that I had a boyfriend who treated me like I was just some boy he found on the side of the road. Yes he loved me, and yes he wanted me, but everything I gave him was never enough. I never did the right thing, and I never said the right words. My feelings were hurt on a daily basis.  I wish you knew how I have felt these last two years, because it felt like an eternity of punishment. 

I wish nothing bad upon you, even though I have every right to. I wish only the good things, like how I hope you give this boy everything that I always wanted out of you. Someday in your future though, you will remember who I am, and what I always did for you. Then.. Maybe. You will realize that I always had love for you and I offered you everything that I could. I wasn't enough.

I could never have been enough.

You never got enough.

I never felt like enough.

But now, I've had enough.